How to Play Asshole: The Drinking Card Game

• Asshole is great for 2-4 players
• You’ll need some kind of hat for the asshole

Forget polite card games – Asshole is a cutthroat scramble for power, and a classic drinking game.

The aim of the game – to get rid of your cards faster than anyone else to become the next round’s ruler. Just remember, one wrong move and you could end up the Asshole for all eternity.

How to Play Asshole

Search online and you’ll find a few variations of this, so it’s worth playing around to see which one works for you. I find this one the most fun.

The Setup

First, sit everyone around a table.

Shuffle the deck and take one card each. Lowest value starts as the asshole of the game, but don’t worry, with any luck, you won’t be for long.

Asshole takes the deck, reshuffles all the cards and now deals the entire deck out, one card at a time, among the players. Traditionally, you always go in a clockwise direction.

Card & Player Ranks

Card values in Asshole are a little different to what you may be used to, and go like this from lowest to highest:

• Bottom to Top: Your standard suits rank lowest to highest: 4, 5, 6… all the way up to King and Ace.
• The 2 Supremacy: A single 2 clears the whole pile! The player who drops it starts the next round, and it’s the Asshole’s job to clean up the mess. Stuck with only 2s? Hand them out to any other player to force a forfeit! If you don’t pass them on before the next person plays, you’re outta luck until your turn.
• The Wildcard 3: One 3 is wild and can beat most cards. Two 3s clear the board. Got spare 3s? Force another player to drink, then you can even give these to the Asshole before the first play. Just be quick, or you’ll be stuck with ’em!
• The Party Card: A single 4 ignites a social! Everyone takes a drink.

Players also have ranks, which looks like this:

The Hierarchy of Power

• President:
  • Rules the roost – can make anyone drink, but they’re untouchable.
  • Sets one new rule per round.
  • Orders the Asshole to fetch refills.
  • Swaps their worst card for the Asshole’s best before the round begins.
• Vice President:
  • Can make most players drink, but not the President.
  • Gets to swap their worst card with the Vice Asshole’s before the round begins.
• Asshole:
  • Gives the President their two best cards before the round.
  • Fetches refills on command.
  • Plays last in each hand.
  • Deals the cards and cleans up the mess after each hand.

Now, don’t worry if this sounds confusing, it’s really simple, especially once you get the hang of it.

How to Play

• Seating Shuffle: First round, sit anywhere. After that, the President picks their spot, and everyone else falls into place based on rank.
• Opening Move: Person to the dealer’s left starts by putting down a card.
• Beating the Card: The next player has to lay down a higher card or pass. If they match the card’s value, the following player skips their turn and takes a drink!
• Example: Someone puts down a 5, you gotta beat it with a 6 or higher.
• Clearing the Pile: If everyone passes or a 2 is played, the pile is cleared, and the last person to play a card leads the next round.

It’s really that simple.

You play a card that’s higher or you pass. You clear your hand first, you become president. Keep going for as long and as many rounds as you please!

The Path to Victory: Keep playing until everyone runs out of cards. First one empty-handed becomes the next round’s President, second is Vice President, etc. Last one holding cards is the Asshole.

Key Points to Remember

• Presidents choose their seat, others sit in rank order.
• Person left of the dealer starts each round.
• You must play a HIGHER card or pass.
• Match a card’s value, and the next player drinks and skips.
• 2s clear the pile, and the player gets to lead again.

When to Drink (Because Asshole is a Thirsty Game)

• Get skipped? Drink.
• Decide to pass? Drink.
• A 2 hits the table? Everyone drinks!
• President or VP commands it? Bottoms up.
• President calls a “board meeting”? Chug-a-lug, the whole table drinks!

The Ground Rules

• Deal out the whole deck (no Jokers!). Once you’re in, you’re in until the President says otherwise.
• Play only cards equal to or higher than the one before. Match the card, and the next player gets skipped and drinks.
• Sit in a circle, play goes clockwise.

This game is about strategy and seizing the moment. Play smart, and you’ll rise from the ranks in no time. Just keep an eye on that President – they can shake things up with a royal decree.

In Asshole, remember: it’s not about the size of your hand, it’s about how quickly you can ditch it!

Want more drinking or adult card games? Check out our guide here!